Though numbers were slightly down this year, Swine Bowl LI was right up there with our most memorable gatherings, and has to be counted a great success. This was due to a number of factors:
1) a pleasantly low-key atmosphere, welcome after the slightly manic intensity of the 50th;
2) nice weather;
3) no harrassment by park police;
4) the somewhat puzzling absence of any competition for the field;
5) Julie's return after a 1-year medical leave;
6) Aaron Breslaw's return after a year in Russia (though he did star in the Russian Swine Bowl);
7) the surprising dominance of a 3d generation of Swine, ably represented by the N. Taylor and T. Greeman children (Dustin, Courtney, Rachel, and Ben), who figured in virtually every play, did most of the scoring, and managed to be totally delightful all the time; AND
8) (I'm working up to this) the stunning appearance of our glorious captain, Uncle Meatball, despite persistent rumors of his impending absence. This last has to rank with the greatest moments of theater in Swine history. Some have suggested that this unexpected but dramatic entry could have been some sort of hoax, staged by a cleverly disguised imposter (said to be a hired actor, or even--bizarrely--Captain Meatball's own daughter Jenny). The sleazier tabloids have been promoting these fantasies, as might be expected. However, apart from the presumptive absurdity of such a claim, countless eyewitnesses have testified to the authenticity of Uncle Meatball's person in every detail: camel's hair coat, blue blazer, beret, walking stick, the unmistakable close-cropped beard and mustache, and, most of all, the inimitable gait and gestures of our team captain, which it is ridiculous to think anyone (let alone an inexperienced young woman) could mimic convincingly. It's equally absurd to think any stand-in could have played with such brilliant intensity, firing passes to young receivers, bucking up team morale in the huddle, menacing nervous quarterbacks with fearsome pass rushes. Of course no sober-minded Swine gives these bizarre allegations serious consideration. (See below pictures.)

The one remaining mystery is how Uncle Meatball managed to cross the Atlantic with such astonishing speed. But such are his well-known powers of ingenuity and cleverness that no one doubts his ability to pull it off, even if none of us know quite how.

Swine Bowl LI will also be remembered as the year Michael Waltuch, swapping his customary role of flinging mile-long passes downfield for that of a wide receiver, darted nimbly into the end zone, and with a spectacular leap, snared a touchdown pass fired by Boom. Boom, by the way, was voted Most Improved Player for the 26th year in a row, though each year it seems unimaginable that he could get any better. But each year he does. Of course he practices a lot.

The Swine Party, magnificently hosted as usual by Boom, was very nice. As Tammy G. had decided to take a year off from making on-field sandwiches, appetites were running high. Mitchel Craner alone accounted for more than seven pounds of roast beef.

There was also a West Coast Swine Bowl this year. A detailed report is expected soon from T. Hill, California Secretary.

See you all at LII. We will try again to get our old field back. Also, NY Times is still interested in a story, if we can ever get our signals uncrossed. And we should be close to full strength: Vermont, California, Florida, and New Jersey contingents expected to return--possibly New Mexico as well? And of course, once again, the real Meatball Hertz will be in command. (You know, it's funny that Jenny Greeman never showed up for the game. I hope she's OK.)

Respectfully submitted,

D. Dogge